Maybe,

Maybe, I can save you, maybe I can't.

But all I know is that I have to try.

I don't know if you're even reading this message or if you even care, but I just need to let you know I'm here. Pick up the phone when no one's home, give me a call. As soon as I can, I'll drive over to you, comfort you my friend.

But if you don't let me in, who will you let in? If you don't let me in, I can't help you.

I can't save you, unless you let me in.

Maybe, I won't even need to save you, maybe you'll save yourself.

<3

Do You Remember?

I wish we could go back.

Evanescent Everlasting

Evanescent Everlasting

For a fleeting moment all is transparent.

The light is visible. The brilliance overcomes the child,

save for Moses, a reenactment of the famous burning bush.

In a miracle the eyes widen,

pupils dilate, envision some

greater heaven.

A power unknown to man.

The magnificent theophany.

Time does not freeze,

for the cigarette the mother lights

consumes the flame by which the child is

hypnotized.

Amuse yes, but the child tumbles into place, aloof

from the world reveling from his vision.

But only for a second was it a seeming reality.

Like a bird in flight, the image vanished as soon as it arrived.

What for? For nothing but a glimpse

of evanescent everlasting.

Self Reliance and Purpose.

These past few months, I've been needing some inspiration and advice myself.

I don't know if I'm making the right decisions, I don't know where I want to be, where I'm going. I am not sure of anything right now. When everyone is writing essays, finding themselves, I am running outside to the woods to think.

To clear my head maybe, to reflect, to find something that can simply deconstruct every part of my persona and detail it in 500 words. But it doesn't work.

Am I simple enough to sum up in 500 words?

Are any of us?

I'm a complicated polynomial, a scientific question waiting to be solved, a controversial supreme court case, a column in the paper evoking debate. I'm no where near easy to define. I just don't know what's true and untrue. I do not know how to define my theoretical thinking. Am I forever searching for a purpose? Is this search expediting madness? What is realistically me? Do I have to have all of the answers? I've lived maybe a fourth of my life; there is so much left to experience. Who I am now is not who I'll be in 3 - 4 years. Hopefully, I'll have cultivated a better person in me. Hopefully, I'll have grown with age and time. Hopefully, I'll have wisened over the years.

It's okay though, I'm writing obviously because I've found cause to.

And cause in this case is Emerson's Self Reliance.

"With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you say t-day. - 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' - Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."

If I remain true to myself day-to-day, the rest will work itself out on its own.

So that essay I have to write? No problem, a quick DL of factual truths about myself, and I'll be done.

In truth, we envision some grand purpose our life has, and go mad trying to realize it. But if we live life honest to ourselves, then only we can say our life has a purpose.

Progress.

This summer has been spectacular. I've been exposed to an inkling of real life and I love it.

I am not saying that this inkling of real life is spectacular, but it is so different than my day-to-day school life. This difference is what makes it spectacular.

In high school we're always taught to work hard, it'll pay off some day, right? I have always been a strong believer in the game theory. School is just a tough game filled with tricks and conspiracies. The teachers are out to get us. Our parents are allied with them. Our friends are the only ones experiencing the same thing as us, but we secretly have to do better than them. This game can suck the joy out of youth, but not if you find the loop hole. Simple. Enjoy it.

I sure as hell enjoyed it when I met Nancy Pelosi, Bill Clinton, Senator Ike Skelton and Senator Carl Levin. Hard work for better results, isn't that the American Dream? I don't aspire to be a politician as of today, but the thrills of getting involved in the political world were phenomenal, because I simply enjoyed it.

I do not advocate living every day for tomorrow, no, no, that is not at all what I'm trying to say, neither do I advocate living every day for today. I believe in the balance. Enjoy today for what it is while keeping in mind what needs to be done for tomorrow.

Life is about balance. Even though I'm just figuring this out, it's still progress.

Day and Night Dichotomy.

Day and Night. Ha! A continuation of my whole optimism versus pessimism idea. I think realism with hints of optimism would be nice, but think about it with the metaphor of day and night. Day usually symbolizes light and purity and goodness, and night symbolizes darkness and despair and evil. 

There is a dichotomy is almost every single aspect of life.

For example, I want to write this post so badly, but I'm too lazy, SO dichotomous! Right?

Haha, Peace.

Be Ok & 12 Days.

"I just want to be okay today." - Ingrid Michaelson. Ah, what an ingenious song, the lyrics say it all. Realistic optimism, I like it. A lot.

Anyways, lesson on love for the day: do NOT fall for someone in 12 days. 

It's no way to stay happy, sure many people believe in the "love at first sight" type of thing, but you can't honestly fall for someone without knowing them well, that's just TOO optimistic, basically ridiculous. I wish everyone would be happy and optimistic but this is reality and we need to be realists. Sure, let yourself go, trust your instincts but don't be stupid.

When you find that person you don't always just "know." Television has really ruined this reality for us, we always expect to just feel this electric spark immediately, or something. But you don't, hell, the person you're meant to be with could be your best friend, it could be the guy who you see on the metro, the guy in your art class, the guy you haven't met yet. Who knows? Don't worry about looking for love, when the time is right, it will find you. Have your fun in between, don't let yourself go though. Be honest and true to yourself, don't get into anything half-heartedly, but the way to stay happy is to know and have confirmation that it's all reality. Then my dear, you can live your freaking fairytale any way you like. Go for it, have a unicorn, dream in the clouds, fancy a trip to the moon, life and death together forever. You can have it all, but just make sure it's the right one.

There are so many different types of love, and sometimes we crave the type of love only a family can give us - unconditional, or the type of love a friend can give, you know the 'always be there' type of thing, but sometimes we just want to know we are someone's everything. I know this feeling we all want this attention. It's so intense and powerful, just like it is when you make someone your everything. In your heart of hearts, unless you know its legitimately the one, don't play games. And especially, learn from your mistakes, and from others.

For example, don't fall for someone who you hardly know in 12 days.

More, Run, Jumper.

These three songs have really touched me lately, brought my spirits up. The lyrics are beautiful, the music is soothing, and as T.Wells says, they are a "whisper in the dark" for the broken-hearted. 

More by Tyrone Wells has beautiful lyrics, light sounds and conveys the message that there is more to life, don't give up? Please? "I've seen the great heights, Reminding me, that I'm alive. I don't wanna die, I don't wanna waste another day, Or night, I know there's something more, Than what we're living for."

See? There is music out there, to make you realize this. (:

Run by Snow Patrol. It is an overall sad song. But one line got to me, and it's about being there for someone regardless of the situation, forced or chosen. "Light up, light up, as if you have a choice. Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear." No matter what, please know that SOMEONE will always be there for you, you know they've been there all along. Just smile that someone cares that much. OR smile because you know YOU will always be there for someone, regardless of their circumstances. Help a brother out. (:

Lastly:

Jumper by Third Eye Blind.

I do have to admit, I recently discovered this not so new song.  Listen to it for yourself.  (:

But the best lyric from it is obvious, "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend, cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in. And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand, I would understand." Haha that sounds not so nice, I know, just listen to the song. (:

Even when I'm broken and down, my music cheers me up. Smile sunshine, tomorrow's another day. Make it yours.

Weighted Work

I know that some people believe that their good deeds go unnoticed. I know you may lose hope and faith, believing that it is useless. I know the poem below is religious/faith oriented, but either way, anyone reading this should comprehend from this message that YOUR good work does NOT go unnoticed. Karma notices. You'll see. 

And truly, you'll get what you deserve, nothing less. Don't give up on me or on yourself.

Weighted Work

Beyond the luminous gates

Resides the Eternal and Everlasting

Frolicking with what ease.

Test you have passed, no you cannot

Be a sinner. For the weight,

The weight is what seems,

But seems on the terrain not

What exists on the scrolls.

Sacrificial deeds you have executed

Have weight in this world.

For you believe that He is righteous,

Your words are pardoned

And He welcomes you to his abode

In the never-ending sky.

Sinner's Salvation

So I've personally been gone for a while, doing my own thing. 

Too much has gone on. Poetry has grown on me and I can express my views on faith intertwined with religion and the merciful God. For the unreligious, think of God as fate and it's fairness in the end. I believe good people may seem sinful to themselves and life is not always fair, but the outcome is magnificent. Imagine yourself living the life you've chosen and who knows fate, God, life, karma, whatever one can believe in, it'll work with you. 

For the soul who believes it was worth less and for those who expect less but should know that everything happens for a reason. Mercy does exist.

Poem Numero Uno:

Sinner’s Salvation

Those lengthy columns glow

Golden rods of beauty doth

Entangle points in thrust

Coerced upon a sole wingèd throne

Thy king, watchful eyes and pardoning gaze

Look upon you with knowing eyes.

Who art thou and thou despised

To enter these gates, in form,

The king must look aside,

Across the ancient lands, mystique

Roams the terrain, particular

To heaven this beautifying glory,

For a sinner in passing to the cave,

The king’s nod or pardon

Beckoning and beseeching one through

The golden rods designed

Salvaging him from the talons of Purgatory

Faith.

"Faith: When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out int othe darkness, Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen...There will be something to stand on or You will be taught how to fly."

Dedication. + Navy Seals.

I'm writing this to anyone who needs it.

I have my fair share of problems, but instead of getting down and depressed, I try to channel my energy elsewhere (i.e. this message). Hopefully, by reading this you'll realize two things a) you're not alone and b) there are people who want you to be happy and are striving to give you hope.

On the topic of giving hope, a recent example, a MIRACULOUS example, dare I say:

The Navy Seals. How freaking courageous and epic. It's been all over the news, you all know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. How they rescued an American cargo ship and killed three Somali pirates successfully. They are true guardians of our nation, protecting those in need. What adroitness! What unlimited courage! What satisfaction!

Now, I want you to assume the position of the captain and crew of the American cargo ship. What could they have been thinking? They were seconds from death when this mission fell into place, literally guns held to their heads while the Navy Seal snipers clearly aimed and took a shot. A one time thing. Imagine the thoughts RACING through the captain and crew members' heads! How little hope must they have had? Now, they had just witnessed a MIRACLE. A miracle that should provide you all with hope, and as Americans, it should strengthen your trust in our government, it should give you hope that even in the most dire of situations, you are not forgotten. Yes, this was on a VERY big scale, but in essence the very idea of hope, is the same. 

Don't forget, the Navy Seals showed the world one of their many miracles. Show them yours-your lesson; have hope.

Trust Me Less.

"I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle, but I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much."
- Mother Theresa

I have hope that everything will be okay, but why is there a need to test my faith so much? Is it so imperative?

I guess it is. I guess part of that is faith. I'm almost sure of it. Because if I could cross those hurdles alone, hope would not exist, and neither would faith, because faith and hope are so intertwined. I know some high power is helping me, but I've got to gather all my knowledge from prior difficulties and put forth my best effort. HOPE- when even when you're doing everything wrong, it's that you did it with your best efforts with the intentions of doing it right- that's what matters. I believe it, I do. I do. I do. 

I would just like a break here and there. 

But I have hope for a better day.

Word.

Listening to music like, "where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness, and I would've stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life." I mean, don't get me wrong or anything, I love The Fray, but how do those lyrics give anyone hope? It's a sad story of someone expressing their grief on how they couldn't help someone in their life, but honestly, the world doesn't need another sad story. Or take Nietzsche, "Hope in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man." How the heck are you supposed to be optimistic when you read quotes like that? I agree, this is a free country and we pride ourself on free speech. I am just sending out a message to the world. Get your happy faces on, you're not the only one having a bad day or facing the rain. We all have our own difficulties, but I swear, when I see one of you, my fellow humans, smile, it makes my day, because then, I know everything is going to be alright. That's hope. Word.

Something.

"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible." - Anonymous

Everyday, on the news, in the media, or even through colloquial discussions, we are made aware of the situations of those impoverished in third world countries. Take Slumdog Millionaire for example. A carefully projected film, of the poverty and slums of India, intricately outlining the disturbing details through visuals that most people tend to overlook. This story appealed to a varied audience - the intellectuals, the students, the romantics, the curious, because of its story line. But it would be truly difficult to overlook the REAL message in this movie. Humans in wealthy countries are so used to hearing about third world countries and the poverty and the chaos that haunts them, that they don't even flinch when they hear arising issues. Today, we need to find a way to change things, to make sure that poverty and chaos is not something we are used to hearing about. We need to ensure that these people know that they are not forgotten, we need ignite hope within them. We need to help the less fortunate find their own happiness. We need to do something. How? I'm not sure, but it can be done. But something, definitely something. 

I have hope for Israel and Palestine. Do You?

On an Arabian night, there is a view

Of ten thousand – dead.

To make amends there is no queue,

Brothers’ and sisters’ sanguinity is shed.

Religion should never play a part

But the daunting questions remain

Because land was not man’s from the start

“Oh Lord, what do they wish to gain?”

The Abrahamic faiths connected by a single thread,

Conflicting interests induced the war of ages.

The fate of this land appears to have been said

Not one stops to think for himself, not even the sages.

But I have hope for Israel and Palestine,

Between hatred and misunderstanding, there is a fine line.

-Jamila

Hope

Hope is a two way street. There is no denying that. You help me and I gain hope. I gain hope and I can help you. Then you have hope too.

In the end, we both have hope.